A Trim? I’ll Wait Until Next Time

When your stylist pulls out the scissors from her station do you react with fear?  Why is our reaction to the sight of scissors the same as surgery?

 

“I just want my hair to be long,” one of my friends told me.  I asked her where does health fit into the equation.  We have all seen a sista that holds on to damaged hair for way too long.  The ends are badly frazzled like the end of a rug but still she swings her hair with a confidence.  You don’t have the heart to tell the sista directly that she needs to clip her ends. You imagine that her stylist has already had this conversation with her to no avail.

 

Since many black women are so obsessed with length any actions to shorten the hair is seen as negative and requires some sort of negotiation at the salon.  There is a distinction between a trim and a cut in most women’s minds.  The pricing on the service list suggests that there is a difference but sometimes the stylists treat them as the same.

 

With a cut, there is some sort of mental preparation.  For instance, you may know that you need to make a drastic cut because you are transitioning from a relaxer.  Or, you expect the stylist to take off 3 inches so that you can achieve the brand new look that you picked out from the beauty magazine that you just showed the stylist.  But with a trim, there is an element of unknown.

 

Stylists know that we are scared of “the trim.”  Some stylists try the tough guy route.  “I would be playing myself if I don’t cut more.”  This is what one stylist told me on my hair journey.  He basically made me feel like an aggressive trim was my only option if I wanted my hair to look attractive and healthy.  I have also experienced the sneak attack where you blink your eyes and next thing you know you see an inch of hair floating down to the ground.  After the ambush, you get the shrug that suggests that it is too late to stop now.  That is when you close your eyes and try to remember whether you left a hat in your bag or in the back seat of your car.

 

Stylists with a more evolved chair-side manner will gently ask, “Is it okay if I clip your ends today.”  They usually add a specific length to try to reassure us.  “Only ¼ inch, I promise.”  You then at least have the chance to visualize the impact.  It is always great to have the type of relationship with your stylist where you can trust that ¼ inch is really just ¼ inch.  With that trust, there is less fear and you feel free to tell the stylist to just “go for it.”

Top 7 Signs It’s Time to Look for a New Stylist

 

Photo: Punchstock

 

1)     You seem to have more and more “creative differences” with your stylist.

 

I once left a salon because I had to keep begging to get a roller set.  The stylist preferred how hair laid with a blow out.  We would then get into a theoretical debate on what is better for your hair.  On another occasion, a stylist said that he was “bored” of doing my hair the way I liked it.  I told him “I’m sorry that my hair is not inspiring you today.”

 

2)     You have heard the line “she is on her way” one too many times.

 

Imagine racing from your job or errands to arrive at the salon only to hear “she is on her way.”  It really makes you feel like your time is not valued.  Thanks, I am “on my way” to another salon.

 

3)     You start to feel like the money that you are spending is not worth the results.

 

It’s unrealistic to expect miracles but if your stylist brags that he caters to “high-end” or celebrity clients (translation you are paying a pretty penny) and your hair only looks decent, there is a problem.  I guess it’s like the old Suave TV commercial when they ask you to choose which woman uses the expensive shampoo.  Who wants to be the chick on the right who over-paid for average results?

 

4)     The salon atmosphere is not consistent with your personal values.

 

This really is a matter of personal taste.  Some women like that beauty salon to feel like going to a party. The sound system plays the latest CD, women chat across dryers and laugh together.  The shampoo girl doubles as a stand-up comedian telling endless routines.  Others would prefer more of a day spa experience with mellow background music that enables one to get lost in her own thoughts.

 

5)     You realize that your stylist does not have a license.

 

The licensing requirements differ from state to state but you are rolling the dice if you allow an unlicensed stylist to do your hair.  Most people are familiar with looking up on the wall in the stylist’s station area for the framed license.  In some states, the shampoo assistants have formal license requirements.  Most state cosmetology boards (http://www.nictesting.org/websites.htm) allow you to query online to check the status of individual licenses.

 

6)     You realize that your stylist always triple-books your appointment time and each visit becomes an all-day event.

 

When you visit the salon as a walk-in, most people understand that there may be a wait.   Most people are less understanding when they actually go through the process of making an appointment.  When it becomes standard to have a 12 pm appointment but not make it close to the chair until 1 pm and then not leave the salon until 5 pm, many women start to lose patience.  Some of us have learned to shrug it off by saying “that’s just how black salons are.”  I remember on my prom day, my mother and I arrived at a salon at 8 am to join a line of others waiting to get their hair done.  I didn’t leave the salon until 2 or 3 pm.  For me this visit was only for a special occasion, but many of the others in line went through this experience every week.  As an adult, I demand more respect for my time.

 

7)     Your stylist suggests techniques that you know are inappropriate or would be harmful to your hair.

 

When your hair stylist talks about applying relaxer around the edges (“halo” relaxer) and other techniques that are not endorsed by the hair product manufacturers, just get out of the chair.  One bad visit could lead to 6 months to a year of trying to repair the problem created by the stylist inappropriately handling your hair.

 

If you need to help to “woman up” to break up with your hair sytlist, see my earlier post on the subject.  Please send me your lists…

 

Just Washing and Conditioning

Remember the classic Sinbad comedy routine about hair in the late 80s?  “Girl, what are you doing with your hair, it’s just growing,” one woman says.  “Oh, I am just washing and conditioning it,” her friend responds.  He was talking about making up an explanation for hair “growth” due to a weave.  All weaves aside, washing and conditioning is key.

 

I will highlight great finds that may or may not be behind the bowl at your salon but that may be worth checking out.

 

Nexxus Humectress Conditioner does wonders for damaged hair from over-processing or in need of some TLC to rescue from dryness.  Some may be skeptical about this line catering to the varying textures of our hair but this conditioner is worth its weight (it retails at local drug stores at about $13 for the 13.5 oz bottle).  I have been using it on my own hair that was excessively dry from abuse from a no-lye relaxer.  I have noticed that my hair has regained a softness that even my stylist noticed after a few weeks of use.

 

Check it out and let me know if it works for you.