A Trim? I’ll Wait Until Next Time

When your stylist pulls out the scissors from her station do you react with fear?  Why is our reaction to the sight of scissors the same as surgery?

 

“I just want my hair to be long,” one of my friends told me.  I asked her where does health fit into the equation.  We have all seen a sista that holds on to damaged hair for way too long.  The ends are badly frazzled like the end of a rug but still she swings her hair with a confidence.  You don’t have the heart to tell the sista directly that she needs to clip her ends. You imagine that her stylist has already had this conversation with her to no avail.

 

Since many black women are so obsessed with length any actions to shorten the hair is seen as negative and requires some sort of negotiation at the salon.  There is a distinction between a trim and a cut in most women’s minds.  The pricing on the service list suggests that there is a difference but sometimes the stylists treat them as the same.

 

With a cut, there is some sort of mental preparation.  For instance, you may know that you need to make a drastic cut because you are transitioning from a relaxer.  Or, you expect the stylist to take off 3 inches so that you can achieve the brand new look that you picked out from the beauty magazine that you just showed the stylist.  But with a trim, there is an element of unknown.

 

Stylists know that we are scared of “the trim.”  Some stylists try the tough guy route.  “I would be playing myself if I don’t cut more.”  This is what one stylist told me on my hair journey.  He basically made me feel like an aggressive trim was my only option if I wanted my hair to look attractive and healthy.  I have also experienced the sneak attack where you blink your eyes and next thing you know you see an inch of hair floating down to the ground.  After the ambush, you get the shrug that suggests that it is too late to stop now.  That is when you close your eyes and try to remember whether you left a hat in your bag or in the back seat of your car.

 

Stylists with a more evolved chair-side manner will gently ask, “Is it okay if I clip your ends today.”  They usually add a specific length to try to reassure us.  “Only ¼ inch, I promise.”  You then at least have the chance to visualize the impact.  It is always great to have the type of relationship with your stylist where you can trust that ¼ inch is really just ¼ inch.  With that trust, there is less fear and you feel free to tell the stylist to just “go for it.”